Change
Change
is something.
Sometimes beautiful, sometimes not and always a varying
degree of difficulty. I used to think I was flexible, easy-going, and adjusted
quickly to change.
 |
| Grammy never even got her copy of this because it took me so long to order. |
But
then my life and everything I knew as normal changed. Right before my mom died,
Addie started crawling. That was the last milestone my mom would ever see. I
cried Labor Day weekend when we were sharing a loft with some friends and
friends of friends and Addie was up all night cutting her first two teeth. I love
sleep, but that isn’t why I cried. I cried because things were changing. Life
was continuing without my mom, and I didn’t like it. It wasn’t like I thought
she’d suddenly come back to life and be confused, but I wanted the world to
stop since it felt like it stopped in my mind.
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| Fewer tomatoes leads to a happier husband and a greener chile! |
After
my mom died, I started making some of my favorite meals that my mom had made. I
made her chile rellenos and green chile… not because I wanted to take over or
make that change, but because I knew she would make those foods if someone had
requested and I wanted to keep it the same. I used the same eggroll wrappers, the
same whole green chiles, and the same La Bola recipe for green chile. When Jeff
said, “This is delicious! Maybe next time we will try to make it a little
greener and a little less red,” I thought No
way! This is the way green childe is supposed to be. This is the good stuff!
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| Life is like freshly chopped jalapenos... Spicy and can burn you without proper precautions! |
Recently,
the company that makes the eggroll wrappers that we’ve always used went out of
business. We have yet to find some that are as sturdy and delicious. We had no
choice but to change. I took this opportunity to change our green chile.
It’s
just as good; just not as red.
Progress?
Healing? Perhaps.
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| Grammy and Addie... Mother's Day 2010. |
Forgetting?
Never.
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