Monday, May 7, 2012

Change...Progress?


Change
                 Change is something. 
Sometimes beautiful, sometimes not and always a varying degree of difficulty. I used to think I was flexible, easy-going, and adjusted quickly to change.
Grammy never even got her copy of this
because it took me so long to order.

                But then my life and everything I knew as normal changed. Right before my mom died, Addie started crawling. That was the last milestone my mom would ever see. I cried Labor Day weekend when we were sharing a loft with some friends and friends of friends and Addie was up all night cutting her first two teeth. I love sleep, but that isn’t why I cried. I cried because things were changing. Life was continuing without my mom, and I didn’t like it. It wasn’t like I thought she’d suddenly come back to life and be confused, but I wanted the world to stop since it felt like it stopped in my mind.

Fewer tomatoes leads to a happier
husband and a greener chile!
                After my mom died, I started making some of my favorite meals that my mom had made. I made her chile rellenos and green chile… not because I wanted to take over or make that change, but because I knew she would make those foods if someone had requested and I wanted to keep it the same. I used the same eggroll wrappers, the same whole green chiles, and the same La Bola recipe for green chile. When Jeff said, “This is delicious! Maybe next time we will try to make it a little greener and a little less red,” I thought No way! This is the way green childe is supposed to be. This is the good stuff!
Life is like freshly chopped jalapenos...
Spicy and can burn you without proper
precautions!
                Recently, the company that makes the eggroll wrappers that we’ve always used went out of business. We have yet to find some that are as sturdy and delicious. We had no choice but to change. I took this opportunity to change our green chile.
                It’s just as good; just not as red.
                Progress? Healing? Perhaps.
Grammy and Addie... Mother's Day 2010.
                Forgetting? Never.


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