Mother Karen

Mother Karen

                I’m not overly confident in many areas of my life. There are things I feel confident in (like I know my daughter is amazing, and I know my husband is a great organizer who gets work done), but for the most part, I am who I am, and I am okay.

                The exception to this is my family. My mom was the most amazing and extraordinary woman imaginable. I love my grandmother, and she is obviously great since she raised my mom, but when ranking extraordinary women, my mom blows everyone out of the water. She didn’t get the attention that Mother Theresa got and she didn’t directly work with quite as many people, but she’s right up there with her!

                The hard thing about having such an amazing mom is that it’s really hard not to sound like a one-upper any time mom situations come up. I can’t stand one-uppers (Does that mean I am one?), so I try to keep my thoughts to myself about the better way my mom would have done something or reacted to something or treated someone.

                Here, though, on ThreeRedStones, I get to tell it like it is (or would have been if cancer hadn’t won).

                I have a friend who has decided what she wants to do after high school: she wants to be a teacher. Obviously, I think this is great! I am careful to plant some seeds of reality in her mind about the actual time commitment and the challenges with balancing a family and a class full of kids, but really, teaching is an amazing and rewarding job. Her mom doesn’t see it that way. My mom wouldn’t have gotten mad about wanting to skip the military to go directly to college to get into teaching faster. My mom wouldn’t have discouraged me from going into teaching because of the pay. My mom wouldn’t have tried to convince me that anything would be better than teaching. My mom heard my heart and knew that making a difference in kids’ lives, helping kids find out who they are, and working with the daily joys of kids was the right decision.

                My mom heard my brother’s plans to go into the military, and instead of telling him the million reasons he shouldn’t join, she asked that he at least talk to the Navy before signing anything. The result: a Dan who has traveled the world, lived in Hawaii and invited everyone to visit, and who safely (relatively) lives in Oklahoma with his beautiful wife and kids. The point: she knew the military was the right decision for him, but helped him find the safest way for his mental and physical health so that we all get to keep him.

                My mom heard my other brother’s plans to marry Erin. YIKES! Did she tell him not to? No. Did she tell him Erin was crazy? No. She just helped him put the wedding off long enough that he had no option but to see it for himself! The point: she knew Erin was not right for him, but knew that if she said that, she would push him away, into the arms of a crazy girl and we’d never see any piece of him again! Because of this magnificent maneuver, Greg is married to the sweetest, kindest, most caring woman since my mom here in Colorado where we get to keep him!

                Without my mom, clearly I wouldn’t have my brothers and sister, and without her way of reading people and kindly guiding them in directions that were right for them, we wouldn’t be the strong family that we are, working together to do what she would have done. It’s unfortunate for everyone else that Karen wasn’t their mom too.