Driving Lessons

Driving Lessons

                When I found out on August 6, 2010 that my mom was going to have home hospice care, I knew I needed to organize my thoughts about all of the things I wanted to share at her service. I could go on and on for pages and pages about how wonderful and caring and thoughtful and empathetic and giving she was, but everyone who had ever met her already knew that, so I decided to talk about her dark side: Karen Mayer – the driver.

                My earliest driving memories of my mom put me at around 5-years-old. The olive green VW van was taking us home from the store when Greg started making siren noises, and Mom pulled over! We were so impressed with his sound effects, but in reality, she knew how to make her kids squeal in delight!

                When you’re 5, you don’t really know good driving from not so good, so it wasn’t until many years later when Greg was memorizing the Rules of the Road for his own driving test that I realized my mom was a little crazy when she was behind the wheel!          Mostly, she had a lead-foot, but she also followed too close and changed lanes so rapidly that she often cut people off.

                When I got to thinking about my mom as a driver, I was puzzled because her driving didn’t match her usual thoughtfulness. After some deep thinking on the matter, I realized that although she seemed kind of crazy, it was really just because of who she was. She didn’t want to spend her time in the car, going from one place to another; she wanted to be there with the people she cared about. Travelling across town was taking away from the things she loved to do, the living. She never turned down a trip to the mall, a movie or play, or dinner with friends or family. She knew it would be great! But she had to get from here to there, and she chose to do it quickly so that she could enjoy life.

                I’ve learned so much from my parents, and this lesson is about focusing on the important things in life and zooming through the rest.