Tooth Fairy

Tooth Fairy

                Teeth gross me out. I mean, in a mouth, lined up straight, white, and in a smile, they’re great. Teeth are certainly helpful for chewing Extra sugar free gum – Mom gave me a couple of pieces of each morning to chew throughout the day in junior high – and for biting into Christmas toffee hidden in the freezer. We need teeth and dental hygiene has become an important part of my daily routines since I had to have a root canal the day I flew to Paris. However, loose teeth, teeth that are hanging on by a thread, teeth that can be twisted all the way around are gross.  

                Many many years ago, before any of the Mayer kids had braces, our baby teeth had to come out. G. Mayer… no, that’s too obvious… let’s call him Greg M. had a loose baby tooth. It was so loose that it could bend forward and backward, creating a 90^o angle. Mom had heard from of a friend that a friend of a friend of a brother’s friend had pulled his son’s tooth out without actually touching the tooth, and she thought it might be worth a try.

                She found some string and tied it around the doorknob to the front door. She took the other end and carefully secured it around the tooth. Greg M. was excited. It was his first loose tooth and he had heard great things about the Tooth Fairy. “She loves teeth and pays three quarters if you leave them under your pillow!” his friend Kit had told him.

                Mom had butterflies in her stomach. Could this actually work? Could this keep her from having to touch any of the next 79 slobbery, bleeding, wiggly teeth that would fall out? Perhaps!

                “Ready, Greg?” Mom asked as Becky napped and Dan and I watched the show.

                “Eh-ie,” Greg replied.

                Slam!

                Greg stood still. His face was turning white. The string was still hanging from his mouth.

                “Oh no,” Mom breathed as she rushed toward him and pulled down his lip. “Get a towel,” she directed Dan. Like lightning, he was back from the kitchen, pushing the towel into her now-bloody hands and she pressed it against Greg’s bleeding gums.

                I was at the door with my little pink scissors, trying to cut the string loose. Tears were blurring my vision, making it harder to see my work. Dan opened the door and created some slack in the string and pop!

                Mom was putting the crimson-stained towel in the wash, Dan was removing the remaining string from the doorknob, Greg was washing the evidence off of his chin, and Becky was getting up from her nap when Dad walked in the door. Mom told him the whole story with her big green eyes, Dad set his briefcase on the counter, and then he went to his room to change out of his suit. A few minutes later, he emerged in his tan Dockers’ shorts and polo shirt (casual clothes) and guided Greg into the dining room where the light was brightest. He looked at Greg’s gums, wiggled the tooth, and went to draw out a plan.

                In the meantime, Mom went into the dining room, “Sorry, hon,” she said, and she twisted the tooth out. Greg gasped, and when she dropped the little tooth in his little hand, his eyes got big and his smile got bigger. Mom accepted the fact that she would likely be pulling out 79 more baby teeth in the next nine years.

                At least the Tooth Fairy would take the teeth away.

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                Well, when we started cleaning off Mom’s dresser in September 2010, we found a Joslins box, and when we opened the box, we discovered that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t care for teeth either!